Male Model Just Wishes Everyone Else Tried A Little Harder

CHICAGO, IL – Emilio Glammasheen is a male model who just wishes everyone would try a little bit harder. “I get up every morning at 5:00 AM to workout, eat steel-cut oats with half a banana, then shower my beautiful body off under my rainfall shower head before boarding the red line train downtown. Some of these people on the CTA look like they just rolled out of bed. It’s grotesque.”

Emilio recognizes that he was born better looking than 90 percent of his peers. Still, he believes the rest of us could do better at not looking hideous. “I’m not saying that everyone needs to own the Bobbi Brown BBU palette from Sephora, but if they did, my commute would be much more enjoyable.”

But it’s not just the train where Emilio notices his fellow humans ugliness effecting his mood. He sees it at work, too.

“My co-workers have no sense of fashion. Most of the men wear the same three or four Stafford collared shirts every week. Always the same colors: white, sky blue, grey, and some kind of shit brown.” Most of them, he observes, are ill-fitting and wrinkle just past the love-handle area. Emilio just hopes that his modeling career will one day inspire people everywhere to stop being so absolutely disgusting.

“I just want to live in a world of beautiful people, like me.”

 

Photograph by John Barno.

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