(Boston, MA) The unpublished professor, Dr. Peter Amateuris, addressed his Professional Practices of Published Novelists class with confidence as he made up all kinds of nonsense about what the “industry” is looking for.
He made very clear that no agent is ever going to look at a submission that doesn’t meet certain criteria he found published on a blog that must be correct, since it was the first to appear in a Google search result for “how to sell your first book.”
He made sure that the hopeful, smart, soon-to-be college graduates with a world of opportunity and time on their hands knew that the first thing to do was lower their expectations. “Make no assumptions that their book is worth reading!” Dr. Amateuris advised, since that was his experience when he tried over 25 years ago in a market that looks nothing like today’s.
He advised the Generation Z students, the first generation born into our technology-centered world, to try to stay trendy with social media tools- ignoring the advice to live a full life involving travel and trying new things, like the old writers did. “If you aren’t on Twitter,” he warned, “how can you expect to be taken seriously as a writer?”