NEW YORK – During a press conference held by the actual White House, the actual President of the actual United States selected actual reporter Cecilia Vega to ask an actual question, but before she could answer, told her, “I know you’re not thinking, you never do.”
Reporters immediately responded by pulling out gas masks specifically placed under their seats for these moments of dangerous toxic masculinity from the highest position in our country. The dangerous levels of misogyny made the air difficult to breathe, but the brave reporters pressed on, much to Trump’s protests.
“Don’t do that. That’s not nice.”